Caring for your mom at home is a noble endeavor. It is usually the first step in her long-term caregiving plan. When you think about help for mom at home, what comes to mind is a picture of her living and enjoying life from the comfort of her home.
One way to make this mental image into reality is by having a plan. Planning for the future is important because it gives you ample time to consider your mother’s long-term care strategy and thoroughly research the available care options for your loved one.
When you realize your parents are facing challenges with their activities of daily living, like grooming or bathing, you know it’s time to step in and help however you can, such as becoming their caregiver. Transitioning into the role of a caregiver is easy, especially if you start caring for your dad or mom early on.
When is the Right Time to Care for Mom at Home?
Even though your parents will want to maintain their independence, their health or cognitive challenges might get in the way.
When you recognize that mom needs your help, you must assist her at home before her health declines. Before you do anything, tell her first what you plan to do. Make sure you avoid coming across as an oppressive taskmaster while providing service.
Doing this will foster a sense of partnership and give her control over her life. It is crucial to understand that you do not have to wait till your parents ask for your assistance because this may never occur. Your elderly mother doesn’t want to burden you or will want to cope with their difficulties alone.
Usually, your mother takes care of you, but now you must also take care of her. You must psychologically prepare for this role because it can be overwhelming. Your mother might not like the reversed role — you taking care of them instead of them caring for you — making the situation difficult.
Today, there are many resources available to help family caregivers stay informed and learn new strategies for taking care of senior loved ones. At Amy’s Eden, we understand the challenges you face in caring for your mother. Our team has provided a list of questions to know what concerns to address regarding their care.
You will be in a better position to give your aging parents exceptional care if you answer these questions honestly:
What is the History Behind Your Relationship With Your Mom?
Will the history of your relationship with your mom affect how you care for her at home? Caregiving for your mother could be difficult if your relationship with her isn’t perfect.
It would be better in this situation if you thought about having a caregiver come into your parent’s home and look after them.
On the other hand, if you have a positive relationship with your aging mom, taking care of her will be easier. When there’s great rapport, she can readily open up whenever she feels like a burden to you. When she does, you can devise a mechanism that will allow you to care for her comfortably without her feeling guilty or troubled.
The current state of your relationship with your mom is essential in providing quality care. If, unfortunately, you don’t have a loving connection with her, don’t use it as a reason to deprive her of your help whenever she needs it.
Assess The Level of Care Your Mom Needs at Home
Figuring out your loved one’s needs, understanding the available care options, and making an informed care decision can be overwhelming. A jumping-off point can help break down the lengthy process of finding care for mom. Where do you start? First, you must understand the level of care your mom needs daily.
Some of the areas to assess the appropriate level of their care demands include the following:
- If she has any cognitive issues
- If her social activities have decreased
- Her medical needs. Check if she is taking her medications as prescribed.
- Available family support to help with meal preparation, maintaining the yard, or going out grocery shopping
- Does she have balancing and mobility issues?
- Has her hygiene deteriorated? This could be an indication of mild memory loss.
After coming up with answers to these questions, evaluate the support she already has from family and friends. Then, determine how much care she will require to remain healthy and safe at her own home.
Make Your Mom’s Home Hazard Free
You will realize that over time, your parent’s home may no longer be safe to live in. Safety hazards could result in falls, which are dangerous to older adults recuperating at home.
Making your parent’s home safe will prevent them from falling and injuring themselves. It will promote their sense of independence and ensure they enjoy their golden years in their own home.
Some simple ways you can ensure your mom’s place is safe are:
- Ensuring you fix all the lights so there’s enough illumination for easy movement from one place to another.
- Decluttering the house. Ensure no cords are on the floor and the walkway is free from any mess.
- Add or install grab bars in the bathroom and some non-slip rugs to prevent falls while they use the toilet.
- You can also add a raised toilet seat to make toilet use more accessible for them. It is helpful if your mom has problems changing positions from sitting to standing and vice versa.
- Ensure toiletries and personal care appliances, like a hair dryer, are within reach.
Look Into Respite Caregiver Services
Taking care of your parents is a huge responsibility, and sometimes you cannot meet all their needs. You will need to look into a respite care provider to help you with the following:
- Grocery shopping
- Meal preparations
- Driving to and from their appointments
- Mowing their yard
- Providing companionship care
- Doing laundry
- Taking them to social events like charity visits and family gatherings
Looking into respite care options near you ensures you have someone ready to help your mom in cases you can’t. Google can also be a great resource for finding helpful home care services and caregiving tips.
Enlist The Help Of Your Family and Friends Early On
Caring for mom at home is such a huge responsibility and undertaking. One thing to note is that this responsibility gets more challenging as time goes by since her needs will grow with it.
Try visiting or calling your mom as often as possible, as this will allow you to figure out what she needs.
If her care needs are more than you can handle, enlist the help of your family and friends early on. A family member may be available to look after your mom on weekends.
Determine who within your family and your mom’s friends are willing to support her by becoming a family caregiver during their free time.
Involving your family will make caring for your mom easier. You can have your immediate family provide respite care while you, the full-time family caregiver, can take a much-needed break.
Some immediate family members may also help contribute financially to cover caregiving costs. Getting everyone involved in your loved one’s health is important.
Involve Your Mom In the Decision-Making Process
With aging comes the fear of losing control. Your mom may fear losing their independence. However, when you involve her in the care decision-making process, she will feel empowered and have control over their life.
Honoring their wishes and preferences is crucial when choosing their caregiver or the community they will live in. It shows you care for her opinions and choices. Let your mom know that you want nothing but to improve the quality of her life.
One thing to note about raising caregiving topics with your mom is the possibility that she may be hostile about the idea. You should not take it personally but see it as her trying to hold onto the independent life she is used to. She may not be open-minded about hiring a caregiver, especially if she feels like she’s about to lose control of her life.
If she thinks she doesn’t need caregiving services at the moment, don’t force the issue. Be patient and wait until she is ready for another caregiving talk.
Understand Your Mom’s Finances
Providing help for mom at home often requires you to spend money. For instance, some safety home improvements you want to install will cost money. It’s good to have a rough estimate of what your mom’s care and safety home upgrades will cost and then check if she can pay for all of them.
When estimating the amount of money you will require for your loved one’s care, also consider the cost of assisted living and other expenses, like medications, and the cost of modifying their home.
Dealing with your mom’s finances can be tricky, and she might feel unsettled and awkward talking about it. Let her understand that you want to ensure their savings cover their care and living expenses.
After getting a rough estimate of all the expenses, ask if she can afford to pay for them or if she needs you to contribute to cover some of the costs.
There are government programs, like Medicaid, for qualified beneficiaries that could help pay for her care. You can consult a financial planner or a senior care attorney to determine if your mom qualifies for financial assistance from any federal- or state-funded programs.
Enable Easy and Accessible Communication
Another way of caring for mom at home is to ensure they can easily communicate with family and friends to ask for help and won’t feel isolated.
Isolation can negatively impact your mom’s health, but she can fight loneliness and isolation when she’s in touch with the rest of the family members. Frequently communicating with her will help her lead a quality and socially active lifestyle.
Save the contact details of family members and closest friends on her mobile phone to make it easier to connect with them anytime.
Facilitate Your Mom’s Social Life
If you notice a decline in her social activities, find out why. Check her social calendar if she keeps one.
If your mom cannot attend invitations to social activities due to transportation issues, offer to drive her. If you have prior commitments and can’t drive her to social events and appointments, enlist the help of other family members. You can also have our caregivers come in and drive your parents to their activities.
You can also help your mom maintain an active social life by participating in her hobbies. For example, if your mom loves to bake for an orphanage, offer to help her bake. You can also volunteer to drop the baked goodies at the orphanage if you think your mom is too exhausted to do it. When it comes to caregiving, the little things make a difference.
Explore The Available Senior Living Options Near You
Even if you decide to help your mom at home, exploring the available senior living options near you has its advantages and may become useful in the future. You can search online or visit a senior care home near you.
To get a feel for the real atmosphere and vibe of the assisted living center and the relationship between the caregivers and residents, it’s better if you don’t make a prior appointment when visiting a home. Instead, you can drive to the company office, show up for an impromptu tour, and request the community manager accommodate you.
During this time, the residents will most likely be out of their rooms, so you can observe and interact with them and see firsthand how their daily schedule is structured and how the community staff treats them.
A conducive environment for your mom must be a place that feels like home to her and where she feels comfortable and adequately supported by her needs.
Prepare Easy And Nutritious Meals
Many seniors may fail to eat a healthy diet for numerous reasons as they age. Some older people may need help remembering to eat on time, while others may find it hectic and challenging to prepare their own meals.
If your mom doesn’t live with you, drop by her home, prepare two or three days’ worth of wholesome meals, and keep them in the fridge. To make sure she eats them all, give her a call 10 minutes before mealtime and remind her to preheat and not skip their meals on time.
Consider Your Well-being and Capabilities
As everyone in the family often juggles multiple responsibilities, it can be challenging to balance work and taking care of a child or children, including for pregnant moms-to-be. It means you should not assume a caregiving role for your parents and hope that others will join and assist you when needed.
Therefore, before embarking on a caregiving journey, take some time and assess your situation.
The following questions should act as a self-assessment guide.
- Can you solely take care of your loved one for long hours without relying on others?
- Do you have any health issues that may hinder you from helping your loved one?
- Do you live close to your mom’s home? Can you visit her more often?
- Would you consider living with your mom at your house or her home?
- Is your personality compatible with caregiving? Can you comfortably help your mom without feeling like you’re forcing yourself?
- Are you okay with taking some caregiving courses to provide her with better care at home?
If you realize you are not the top candidate to help your parents after taking a self-assessment test, do not feel guilty or selfish about it. What matters in this situation is your mom’s safety and well-being.
You can still help care for your mom by arranging for an experienced caregiver to help with their health and safety.
If you are caring for your elderly parents, you mustn’t overdo it to avoid burnout. When you are emotionally or physically burnt out, you won’t be able to provide excellent care to your loved one.
Look For Local Caregiver Support Groups
When it comes to caregiving, your well-being plays a crucial role, as you cannot care for your loved one while unwell.
You should find easy and top applicable ways to nourish your body and spirit. Numerous free caregiving resources can help.
You won’t feel so alone if you can join a local caregiver group where you can meet others who experience the same things you have and who can support and give you advice.
The feeling of loneliness that comes with caregiving is one of the main challenges. Sometimes, our loved ones and family don’t comprehend what we go through as carers. Finding and having a friend who understands your problems benefits your mental health.
Final Thoughts
Caring for your mom at home is genuinely a labor of love. You’d want to give back to the woman who has dedicated her entire life to loving and supporting you and ensure she has the best possible care you can offer.
Even if you’re juggling your family, job, and care responsibilities and won’t have enough time to concentrate on your mom’s care, she would greatly appreciate it if you and the rest of the family members could help in whatever ways you can.
At Amy’s Eden, we are here to help you care for your mom without you compromising your health. We have trained caregivers to provide respite and personal care assistance. Please feel free to contact us if you need a helping hand, and we will gladly assist you.
